My Menopause Journey

The Ultimate Guide to Low Libido in Menopause

Couple holding hands, forming a love symbol with their fingers. Focus on the lower part of their bodies, symbolizing connection and intimacy during menopause.

Low Libido: When "Not Tonight" Becomes Your New Favourite Phrase

Ah, libido. That thing we all wish would just “come back” with a little extra spark when we need it. Unfortunately, menopause can cause a drop in sexual desire, leaving you feeling like your libido went on holiday… and forgot to send a postcard.

What Happens:

  • A decrease in sexual desire or interest
  • Vaginal dryness, which can make intimacy uncomfortable
  • Difficulty achieving arousal or orgasm

While it’s totally normal for libido to fluctuate, menopause can make it feel like it’s gone completely off the radar. Hormonal changes, stress, and physical discomfort can all play a role here.

What You Can Do:

Try different lubricants or vaginal moisturisers (no shame in the game)
If things are feeling dry or uncomfortable “down there,” you’re definitely not alone—and there’s zero shame in using lubricants or moisturisers to make intimacy more enjoyable. There are plenty of great, body-friendly options out there that can help ease discomfort and bring back some of the fun. Think of them as your secret little helpers.

Communicate with your partner about what feels good for you
This one can feel awkward, but honesty really is the best policy. Talk openly with your partner about what you want, what you like, and what you don’t. Sometimes low libido isn’t about lack of desire but about feeling safe, understood, and connected. Good communication builds intimacy beyond just the physical.

Engage in self-care to reduce stress and improve overall well-being
Stress is a libido killer. Taking time for yourself—whether that’s a walk in nature, a bath, meditation, or just reading your favourite book—can lower stress levels and help your body and mind reconnect with desire. When you feel nurtured and calm, your libido is more likely to follow.

Bonus tip: Be patient and kind to yourself
Your libido might be on a rollercoaster right now, and that’s okay. Menopause changes your body and hormones, but it doesn’t define your worth or your ability to enjoy intimacy. Give yourself grace and remember that desire can ebb and flow—and that’s perfectly normal.

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