Emotional Mayhem, Chaos, and My Amazing Wife Who Deserves a Medal
A real-life tale of trying to come off HRT and absolutely losing my marbles
There are moments during menopause where I feel like I’ve been possessed by an emotional poltergeist. One minute I’m sobbing over a missing sock, the next I’m ready to burn down the caravan over someone chewing too loudly. And then — boom — I’m laughing at a fart joke like I’ve never heard one before.
It’s not just “a bit moody.” It’s a full-blown emotional rollercoaster with no seatbelt and the track’s on fire. And recently? Things hit a whole new level when I thought I’d try going off my medication.
Spoiler alert: bad idea.
The Day I Thought I Could Do It Naturally (lol)
Look, I’ve always been a bit stubborn. So of course, I thought, “I’m feeling better. I’ve got this. Time to try to go off the meds and let my body do its thing.”
Let me just say — my body did its thing alright.
Bad idea: Exhausted and emotionally wiped. I was in bed at 7:30pm, out cold by 7:35. No Netflix, no reading. Just straight-up coma mode.
But the worst part wasn’t the exhaustion. It was the moods.
I Was Crying, Screaming and Laughing — Often All in the Same Hour
I couldn’t even explain what I was feeling half the time. It was like I was outside my body, watching myself change into someone I didn’t recognise.
Sad me would sob because I spilled some water.
Angry me would yell about the tv being too loud.
Then happy me would pop up laughing at a stupid meme.
It was emotional rollercoaster. My poor wife didn’t know who she was coming home to — we were practically playing mood roulette.
But thankfully for me, she was patient, caring, and supportive. Even when I was being a total b*@ch, she stayed right by my side. (I’m not saying she’s an Olympian… but she probably deserves a metal.)
I Felt Horrible — But I Couldn't Help It
There was this deep, awful shame in knowing I wasn’t myself but being completely powerless to stop it. I could feel the sadness bubbling up, the anger swelling in my chest — and yet I couldn’t hit pause.
I’d snap, then instantly regret it. I’d cry, then feel stupid. I was stuck in this weird emotional limbo, watching the chaos unfold like a front-row onlooker at my own breakdown.
It wasn’t just dramatic. It was all-consuming.
Back on the Meds, Crawling Back to Sanity
Eventually, I waved the white flag and got back on my HRT meds. And honestly? No shame in that. I tried. I really did. But my hormones were staging a full-blown riot, and it was time to call in the reinforcements.
Things are still settling. It’s not instant. But I’m slowly crawling back to something that resembles emotional stability. I’m still tired, still moody some days, but I don’t feel like a total stranger in my own skin anymore. And that? That’s progress.
If You’re Struggling — You’re Not Broken
I wanted to write this because I know how lonely it can feel. When your moods are swinging harder than a child on red cordial, it’s easy to think you’re losing it.
But you’re not. You’re human. You’re hormonal. And maybe, just maybe, you need to stop trying to “push through” and start giving yourself grace (and possibly, meds).
And if you’ve got someone by your side riding the waves with you — give them a hug, a medal, or at the very least, a warning when the next mood shift is incoming.
Menopause isn’t easy. But we don’t have to do it alone — or in silence.
So here’s to the messy, moody truth of it all — and to partners who stick around even when we’re crying over split coffee.
Written by Shan, 46